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Old 18-10-2008, 09:18   #1
blue harbour
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Default Scots economy

> A Scotsman was heading out to the pub and turned to his wee
> wife before leaving...
> 'Jackie - put your hat and coat on lassie.'
> 'Awe Ian that's nice - are you taking me to the pub
> with you?'
> 'Nah, just switching the central heating off while
> I'm oot.'
>

> The first people in the UK to have double glazing were the
> Scots. .. so their kids couldn't hear the ice cream
> vans.
>

> How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?
> Och! it's no that dark!
>

> Have you heard about the lecherous Scotsman who lured a
> girl up to his attic to see his etchings?
> He sold her four of them....
>

> A Scotsman took a girl for a romantic ride in his taxi. She
> was so beautiful he could hardly keep his eye on the
> meter...
>

> A suicidal Scotsman went next door to his neighbor's
> house to gas himself....
>

> A very popular man dies in Aberdeen and his old widow
> wishes to tell all his friends at once, so she goes to the
> Aberdeen Evening Express and says 'I'd like tae
> place an obituary fur ma late husband'
> The man at the desk says 'OK, how much money dae ye
> have?'
> The old woman replies '5' to which the man says
> 'Ye wont get many words for that but write something and
> we'll see if it's ok'
> So the old woman writes something and hands it over the
> counter.
> The man reads 'Peter Reid, fae Kincorth, deid'
> He feels sa d at the abruptness of the statement and
> encourages the old woman to write a few more things, saying
> 'I think we cud allow 3 or 4 more words fer ye
> money.'
> The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and
> hand the paper over the counter again.
> The man then reads 'Peter Reid, fae Kincorth, deid.
> Ford Escort for sale'......
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