MEN - Dont fart in bed - XPowerForums - For MG, XPower & Motorsport Enthusiasts
Logo


Go Back   XPowerForums - For MG, XPower & Motorsport Enthusiasts > MG & XPF Community > XPF General Chat! > Jokes - Work Safe!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-02-2007, 10:32   #1
Gromit180
Registered User
 
Gromit180's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: at home
Posts: 638
Gromit180 will become famous soon enough
Talking MEN - Dont fart in bed

If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to blast them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey >guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband awoke with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What d o you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
__________________
15.0 Sec Qtr Mile @ 94.33Mph
Gromit180 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-02-2007, 17:53   #2
MGJohn
Registered User
 
MGJohn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Cotteswold Cockney
Posts: 516
MGJohn is a splendid one to beholdMGJohn is a splendid one to beholdMGJohn is a splendid one to beholdMGJohn is a splendid one to beholdMGJohn is a splendid one to beholdMGJohn is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: MEN - Dont fart in bed

That is a CRACKER .... thanks for that...
__________________
Apparently ... in a parallel universe MGJohn drives a ................

B>>M>>W ....

Arrrrrggghhhhh......... ......
MGJohn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2007, 17:59   #3
shroonie29
Audi S4 500HP
 
shroonie29's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Over here
Posts: 6,659
shroonie29 has a reputation beyond reputeshroonie29 has a reputation beyond reputeshroonie29 has a reputation beyond reputeshroonie29 has a reputation beyond reputeshroonie29 has a reputation beyond reputeshroonie29 has a reputation beyond reputeshroonie29 has a reputation beyond reputeshroonie29 has a reputation beyond reputeshroonie29 has a reputation beyond reputeshroonie29 has a reputation beyond reputeshroonie29 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: MEN - Dont fart in bed

__________________
Audi S4 B8 3.0 V6 Supercharged
shroonie29 is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Old 05-02-2007, 18:10   #4
Gas-Axe
Administrator
 

Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: South West
Posts: 10,642
Gas-Axe has a brilliant futureGas-Axe has a brilliant futureGas-Axe has a brilliant futureGas-Axe has a brilliant futureGas-Axe has a brilliant futureGas-Axe has a brilliant futureGas-Axe has a brilliant futureGas-Axe has a brilliant futureGas-Axe has a brilliant futureGas-Axe has a brilliant futureGas-Axe has a brilliant future
Default Re: MEN - Dont fart in bed

Hey! Some of us are eating!!



Gas-Axe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2007, 20:30   #5
jp kelly
MK2 ZS FTW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
jp kelly's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: north west
Posts: 734
jp kelly has a spectacular aura aboutjp kelly has a spectacular aura aboutjp kelly has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: MEN - Dont fart in bed

absolute quality
__________________


xbox 360 live gamertag JP KELLY no whoppers please
jp kelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-02-2007, 14:20   #6
Pooky
 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 158
Pooky is on a distinguished road
Default Re: MEN - Dont fart in bed

Thats horrible Gromit!!!
Pooky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-02-2007, 21:51   #7
Dee_81
 

Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 429
Dee_81 will become famous soon enoughDee_81 will become famous soon enough
Default Re: MEN - Dont fart in bed

cant stop laughing, thats great.
Dee_81 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 23:24.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.